Tag: Leadership

Virtues and Sins Part VI: Kindness vs. Envy

by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Authentic Leadership, Business, Change Management, Life Coaching, Thought Leadership, Virtues and Sins

“Don´t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness”. (Unknown)

“I´m not confident around compliments or being celebrated, and I am not comfortable with the thought of envy, which some people thrive on” (Rachel Weisz). 

Reflecting upon the word “envy” and its meaning brought up a few personal memories where someone had accused me of being jealous. I have never been a jealous person, but must admit that people sometimes behave in a way thinking they´d be entitled to being envied – which, of course, is not anything else but bragging. These people may also have a tendency to be fake and to let other people down, talking behind your back, two-faced, pretending to be your friend while the truth is far from that. Accusing other people of being something, in this context envious, is called projection in psychological terminology. Before judging other people, therefore, each one of us should take a look in the mirror.

Envy, often linked with the green color, can also be transformed into something positive:

ENVY – The Story of a Stray Dog and a Homeless Girl (http://igg.me/at/envy) is a short film where Nico, a homeless girl, is disappointed by humankind due to continuous lies and assaulting. She is found by Envy, a stray dog that leads her to her pack where she finds shelter, food and above all, love. Despite of being a dark and dramatic piece, the message of ENVY is hope and love. Sometimes, in our darkest hours, dogs can be our greatest companions. The film also points out the fact that sharing in the struggle of survival can lead to great results. (Source: ENVY – The Story of a Stray Dog and a Homeless Girl. Quoted 16.3.2014).

Kindness, on the other hand, is a value in many cultures and religions. Acts of kindness do not only benefit receivers, but also the giver whereas feelings of contentment and relaxation are released and physiological results of the process. Neither does a real act of kindness ask for anything in return. Think about a life-event or a personal experience where you selflessly helped someone, or where someone helped you. What kind of sensations did that memory bring to your mind?

There is always room for kindness around us. Perhaps you have heard about The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, which is an internationally recognized non-profit organization founded upon the belief in kindness, dedicated to providing resources, tools, and encouragement for various acts of kindness. The foundation aims at inspiring people to acts of kindness, to change the world through one-act of kindness at a time, to educate people, to involve and to let people share their personal stories about kindness. (Source: The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. Quoted 16.3.2014).

Personally I got acquainted with the foundation through no one else but a kind friend.

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others”. (William J.H. Boetcker).

 

Virtues and Sins Part 2: Patience vs. Wrath

by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Authentic Leadership, Building Dialogue, Change Management, Communication Skills, Life Coaching, Virtues and Sins

Have you ever felt impatient? Full of wrath, not knowing how to calm down or how to relax? Letting off steam in a proper manner e.g. through regular physical activities is good for anyone´s health, but if and when we do exercise wrath in maliscious ways, we end up harming not only others around us but most of all ourselves. Do you agree?

Having the gift of the tongue may be helpful in some situations, but playing a smart aleck can sometimes turn against you. Therefore, patience and the ability of listening, truly attentive listening often brings one further and enhances the birth of a true dialogue.

Then, what is a dialogue? And how is it related to patience and wrath? Simple questions, non?

A few years ago I had the privilege of attending a class held by Shawn Spano, Ph.D., about communication and dialogue at SJSU in Silicon Valley. According to Spano, there are many different approaches to dialogue. As an example, he used a unique form of human communication relating it to the social construction theory.

“Communication is the process through which we collectively create our social worlds. Rather than see communication as a neutral vehicle for transmitting information from one person to another, social construction treats communication as a primary activity, one that not only reflects meaning but shapes it as well”.

Seen from this perspective, everything comprising our social worlds (emotions, personalities, relationships, beliefs, attitudes, identities etc.) are being created in patterns of communication.

Social construction in key words:

– Individuals co-construct their social worlds through communication processes

– Communication is a process of action, not only transmission of information

– To widen the boundaries of people´s social worlds, there is a need to create communication bridges in-between these.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ARGUMENT AND DIALOGUE:

In Argument we…:

  • Try to win
  • Compete for speaking time
  • Speak for others
  • Create a potentially threatening and uncomfortable environment
  • Take sides with others
  • Polarize ourselves from those with whom we disagree
  • Feel unswerving commitment to a point of view
  • Ask questions to make a point or put the other person down
  • Make predictable statements
  • Make simplistic statements
  • COMPETE

In dialogue, we…:

  • Try to understand
  • Value listening
  • Speak from personal experience
  • Create an atmosphere of safety
  • Discover differences even among those with whom we agree
  • Discover shared concerns between ourselves and others
  • Discover our uncertainties as well as deeply held beliefs
  • Ask questions out of true curiosity and the desire to know more
  • Discover significant new things
  • Explore the complexity of the issues being discussed
  • COLLABORATE

(Source: http://www.publicconversations.org)

Once again: what has this got to do with patience and wrath?

Just about everything, since we all have the ability of constructing our social worlds through our means of communication. Communication and dialogue are at the core of every individual´s and organization´s success, but still, more often than not, undervalued.

Through the development of communication and dialogue we can all become successful at what we do, both in business and private.

For more information, feel free to contact me and to comment my posts. I love being in dialogue with people.

MBA Career Stories

by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Authentic Leadership, Change Management, Communication Skills, Global Education, MBA Careers

MBA Career Stories

MBA Career Stories was written in co-operation by 33 MBA´s from around the world as a networking and marketing project, in order to develop intercultural communication. The purpose of the publication is to serve as a guidance to people who consider pursuing an MBA, and as a general career/life guide.

My story:

Anne-Maria Yritys, MBA

Haaga-Helia University of Applied Sciences, Helsinki, Finland

LinkedIn: fi.linkedin.com/in/annemariayritys

Twitter: @annemariayritys

Xing: https://www.xing.com/profiles/AnneMaria_Yritys

LinkedIn group:

http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Networkers-Without-Borders-4996536?trk=myg_ugrp_ovr

I graduated in 2012 from Haaga-Helia University of Applied Sciences in Helsinki, which is one of Finland´s leading business schools. The reason for selecting this program was because of the great opportunity to choose free elective courses from other universities. Personally, I also took some courses from Aalto University, and participated in overseas courses at San José State University, the capital city of Silicon Valley, California, USA, and the Faculty of Economics at the University of Ljubljana, Slovenia.

The program was quite extensive, as I studied more free electives than necessary. Beside my MBA studies, I completed two investment courses/exams at Aalto University. The core program was pretty much standard, including courses in quantitative/qualitative research methods, project management, and talent management.

As free electives I chose to take quite many strategic management courses, a couple of change management courses, including business ethics and CSR. The course in Silicon Valley included international marketing, mass media, PR and communication, and innovation management. Quite a package in two and a half years, and I worked full-time throughout my studies in retail banking – it was an intense period.

Previous to the MBA I had been working in the hotel, restaurant and travel industries for a decade after my Bachelor´s Degree in Hospitality Management in 2001. In 2007, I changed careers into banking, and wanted to expand my knowledge from being an expert within hospitality, into learning more generally about international business management. I am satisfied about this decision, since this has given me more options and possibilities in business life.

I have until this day found the MBA useful in at least the following aspects:

–          Increased confidence and trust in my own capacity/knowledge

–          Improved networking skills

–          Improved presentation and public speaking skills

–          General increase of knowledge and knowledge creation

–          If knowledge is not directly available, I know how and where to find it

–           A strategic and holistic view upon business and life in general

–          A better understanding of the big picture of how society and different industries and businesses function

I was a fairly critical thinker already before the MBA, but today I am even more critical in terms of putting things into a perspective. The MBA also enhanced my analytical skills.

After graduation, I worked as an investment manager in a small, private investment firm for about a year. I noticed it wasn´t what I wanted in a longer-term, so I left the company.

At the moment I am working as a freelance business consultant, and I am available for (a) new assignment(s) and/or a permanent role e.g. within change and strategy consulting.

The MBA definitely opens up many new doors. The degree increased my appetite for continuous learning, development and improvement not only of myself as a person, but in how I see organizations and different business areas.

My advice for other MBA´s:

–          Work hard to reach your goals

–          Never give up

–          Believe in yourself

–          Be open for different options

–          Be innovative

–          If you are not ready to be an entrepreneur, become an intrapreneur

An MBA can pursue many kinds of careers in business life. Everything depends upon yourself, your motivations and areas of interest. You can start your own business, join a startup, advance your career in a medium-sized or large organization – whatever suits you best. The most important, however, is to remember to be a responsible leader/manager.

Take care of yourself mentally and physically, treat other people fairly, listen to people and be open for feedback. Know yourself and your values, and live according to them. Enjoy life – career is important, but it is not everything. Try to lead a stable life. If you notice something doesn´t seem or feel right – you can always change direction.

I also wanted to test the usefulness of LinkedIn as a networking tool, and how it would help me in finding business opportunities. This eBook project is one of the steps I have taken to progress my career.

I think it is beneficial to have a wide experience, but real professional progress requires determination and focus. Since the world changes with such a fast pace today, it is of course good to be open for continuous change. Today, careers are not necessarily linear, so basically it is useful to always have a plan B, perhaps even a plan C, in case the original plan doesn´t work out. With many decades of work life ahead of me, I want to continue making good decisions and keep on learning and developing throughout my life.