“Super Hero”. Artist: Jeroen Van Oostrom/Freedigitalphotos.net. ID: 100125802.
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength” (Criss Jami)
Regardless of whether you are a newly selected leader or a senior leader with years of experience, perhaps one of the most crucial elements to your success as a leader will be the capability of being vulnerable, and knowing how to best express and communicate that vulnerability. Being a vulnerable leader is not equal to running around crying or being out of balance in general, although a tear spread every now and then for a reason only does demonstrate that you are humane.
From a scientific perspective, the act of crying is defined as a complex secretomotorphenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears from the lacrimal apparatus. In some cultures, crying is regarded selfish while others tend to show more acceptance towards this, as with expressing emotions in general.
However, vulnerability has not necessarily much to do with how well an individual can express his/her emotions, but rather in what manner the individual does express these, and how he/she deals with the emotions of other individuals/coworkers.
Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. (Brene Brown)
It takes courage to express vulnerability. To be sensitive, but strong, at the same time.
Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength. (Saint Francis de Sales)
Every leader knows that he/she is a social being, dependent upon other individuals.
No man is an iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee…. (John Donne, original from year 1624)
Perhaps one of the greatest challenges for an empathetic leader is to learn how to set boundaries. As a leader you have to realize that you cannot help everyone. And, you have to help yourself first – if you are too vulnerable, you will end up helping others to the point that you feel completely drained of energy. Thus, to develop healthy vulnerability is the ability of setting boundaries, being centered, focused and balanced. Rather than doing everything for others, teach them how to help themselves. Rather than doing everything by yourself, learn how to involve people, and let others help you too.
Always be yourself, keep growing, and surround yourself with people and circumstances that support your growth. Spend time with different people and learn from them, but also remember to take some time out for yourself and engage in activities which allow you to stay connected with your intuition, and your true nature.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
The difference between successful and really successful people is this: really successful people say no to almost everything. (Warren Buffet)
Think about individuals from your own circles, or celebrities, who have become truly successful through vulnerability. What can you possibly learn from these people?
I am still learning, but my experience has taught me that true leadership is a quality that only a few men, and women, possess. More than 20 years of activity in working life, but only rarely, if ever, have I encountered any man or woman fulfilling the qualities of a truly great leader.
Yet, our world needs excellent leaders more than ever. In times of increased demand for excellent leadership, how can we achieve our target of developing such qualities in people? And what are the qualities that a great leader ought to have?
Many times, a leader is thought of as someone capable of inspiring, motivating, and driving “the pack”. True, to a certain extent, but a true leader is always willing and ready to walk the talk alone if required. Sometimes, a leader should not listen to what everyone else is saying, but rather show the way and take action – followed or not.
A true leader always expresses integrity. Intuitive and awaken people will always sense honesty – from miles away. Non-loyal and dishonest behavior always leaves a trail – direct, assertive, and honest behavior, on the other hand, require no further explanations.
Furthermore, excellent leaders do not engage in “lower spiritual activities”, such as gossiping, poor behavior, backstabbing, spreading rumors or anything alike. Neither do they behave in a way that increases uncertainty or mirrors non-excellence in other people. Excellent leaders focus on achieving a goal, a mission, and work with purpose.
Excellence is a choice, and a path of learning. Leaders can be both born and developed, and despite of insecurities and deficiencies, almost anyone can be developed to become an excellent leader. Moreover, excellence has nothing to do with age but rather with experience, behavior, and readiness for leadership.
We all have our weaknesses. One step towards achieving greatness and becoming a great leader is to recognize our humanity, our personal weaknesses, and the ability to transform those into our greatest source of strength. If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission!
Along with integrity, being of service to other people and individuals is an essential ingredient for any individual – especially for those in power. The more influence and power an individual has, the more the individual has to focus upon integrity and upon being of service to people and society. And when leaders with influence and power are about to lose themselves on the path of servant leadership, they need constant reminders from people around them. This is true across societies, regardless of which industry or influential role the leader is involved in. The higher the role, the more demanding the hierarchical authority level, and the more integrity and serving the leader out to express.
Being a leader is never easy. It is not a task, but rather a calling. If leadership is not a calling, then better let go and let others lead instead. Leadership signifies a great amount of responsibility, starting from being capable of leading oneself first. Before taking on a leadership role, remember to ask yourself:
Why Do I want to lead? If the response is “I want to have power over others” (or something in the same direction), then you are not qualified/ready for leadership.
Am I capable of leading myself? Do I value and respect myself enough to be able of leading others as well?
Do I have enough time and energy for a (demanding) leadership role?
Do I care enough about other people and about helping/supporting/empowering other individuals in order to be a leader?
Am I reliable as a leader? Remember, leaders do not put other people down, but rather empower them.
What are my motivations? If you are motivated by material values primarily, then leadership is not for you. Leaders are driven and motivated by other than material values.
These are some of the basic questions to keep in mind before accepting/taking upon leadership responsibilities.
Also keep in mind: Servant leaders ARE NOT/DO NOT:
Emotional drop boxes for insecurities and bad moods/behaviors of other individuals.
Needless to say: however empathetic you are; as a servant leader, you deserve to be treated well by other individuals. You do not have to accept poor behavior.
You are not here to motivate other individuals. Motivation comes from within. You can inspire people, but never motivate them.
Carry other people’s problems: you can listen, but always remember to protect yourself.
Take anything personally.
Always leading people, and managing things/tasks/circumstances.
“If you cannot handle other people’s disapproval, then leadership is not for you”. (Miles Anthony Smith)
“Serving others prepares you to lead others” (Jim George)
“We rise by lifting others” (Robert Ingersoll)
“True leadership is servanthood. Put the interest of others in at the center of your decisions”.
LEAD HUMBLY.
“You lose power when you use power and gain it when you give it”.
Loyalty
Excellence
Attitude
Discipline
Education
Reliability
Service
Humility
Integrity
Purpose
“I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” (Maya Angelou).
“One of the most important servant leadership lessons is to realize that you are not the most important or the most intelligent person in the room”.
Servant leaders are always in demand, across societies, in all functions, because in our core, we are all servant leaders. Some of us only need to be trained, and reminded, at times, or most preferably, on a very regular basis.
Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny (C.S. Lewis)
Has your life been easy? Easy in the sense that everything seemed to run smoothly, without you ever having to face any real adversity, or setbacks? Well, congratulations – you should consider yourself lucky. Or perhaps not? If life treats us too easily, and we always get whatever we reach out for without any effort at all, we do not experience the need for pushing boundaries, or having the need to struggle for anything at all.
Success is hard work.
Not everyone realizes this, especially those who can afford to live in mediocrity. Those who choose not to, and/or those who are forced to, due to e.g. geographical and societal circumstances, even because of family backgrounds, understand the true meaning behind the word struggle, and hard work. Everyone should have to work and make an effort for their living, but there are differences between the concepts of getting everything for free, taking things for granted, having to work hard, needing to struggle, and/or being forced to do something. The next time you want to complain about your personal situation – please spend a moment to think universally, and compare your life to those of others in different geographical locations on Planet Earth. If you feel like struggling, you may change your thoughts after comparing yourself to others. Useful or not, but a certain amount of struggle always brings out the true qualities of people. Have you ever had to struggle or not?
Why is it that countries which we call strong are so powerful in creating wars but are so poor in bringing peace? Why is it that giving guns is so easy but giving books is so hard? Why is it that making tanks is so easy, but building schools is so hard? We are living in the modern age, and we believe that nothing is impossible. We have reached the Moon 45 years ago, and maybe we will soon land on Mars. Then, in this 21st century, we must be able to give every child a quality education. (Malala Yousafzai)
Before responding to this question, please take some time to watch and listen to this inspiring and touching speech by the World’s Youngest Nobel Peace Prize Winner, 17-year-old Malala Yousafzai from Pakistan:http://bit.ly/MalalaYousafzaiNoblePeacePrizeSpeech Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani activist for female education, is known for human rights advocacy for EDUCATION, and for WOMEN. Today, she is regarded to be one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Advocacy for humanity, equal human rights for all citizens of this world, inspiration, and influence has nothing to do with either gender or age, but with our backgrounds, experiences, interests, spirituality, and things we truly care for. Not everyone has to be abused, exploited, or experience other suffering in their lives in order to become an advocate for change, and humanity – but often struggle brings out the true leadership qualities in people.
Develop Empathy. Always walk a mile in another person’s shoes before judging or criticizing anyone – as you never know what they may have experienced in their lives.
Thank you for taking the time to read, reflect, analyze, comment, for sharing your thoughts and for giving feedback, and most of all, for watching and listening to Malala Yousafzai’s Nobel Peace Prize video. I look very much forward to reading your thoughts, and receiving your comments.
“The Vault of Time”. Artist: sattva/Freedigitalphotos.net. ID: 100124772.
According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don’t bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. (Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create Miracles)
Inspired by Mr. Gérard Henri Loiseau, Associate Director at Oxford Leadership Academy, who gave me valuable feedback upon one of my previous posts, I started doing some research upon the term “synchronicity”, the meaning of which is well explained in the following short YouTube video:
After having watched the video, spend a moment to reflect upon synchronicity. Have you had any similar experiences in your life? If yes, I would very much like to hear about them/read your comments. If not, make it a regular practice to focus in your mind upon expanding it, making space for synchronic events to occur – and see what starts to happen as you shift your thoughts and your way of thinking. Our minds work in miraculous ways, and there is a tendency for miracles to happen as soon as we make space for them to manifest in our lives.
Synchronicity, the roots of which are grounded in primitive magic, has always existed. Although a suspect concept to “scientific minds”, synchronicity has been widely practiced and researched across the world, not only in primitive cultures having a firm belief in sympathetic connection comparable to modern-day telepathy – in fact, Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), a Swiss psychiatrist, psychotherapist and founder of analytical psychology, created a concept out of synchronicity in addition to his work upon collective unconscious, archetypes, extra-version, and introversion (part of his psychometric instrument The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).
Pythagorean sympathy of all things, Taoism, ESP, and iChing give additional insight into synchronicity and synchronous leadership practices.
Other useful reading:
Greenleaf, R.K. Servant Leadership: A journey into the nature of legitimate power and greatness
Jaworski, J. Synchronicity
Jung, C. Jung on Synchronicity and the Paranormal: Key Readings
Jung, C. Synchronicity – An Acausal Connecting Principle
Koestler, A. The Roots of Coincidence – An Excursion into Parapsychology
Levy, P. Awaken in The Dream – Catching The Bug of Synchronicity
Pruett, J. Historical Synchronicity
Senge, P. The Necessary Revolution: How Individuals and Organizations Are Working Together to Create a Sustainable World
According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don’t bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. (Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create Miracles)
Inspired by Mr. Gérard Henri Loiseau, Associate Director at Oxford Leadership Academy, who gave me valuable feedback upon one of my previous posts, I started doing some research upon the term “synchronicity,” the meaning of which is well explained in the following short YouTube video:
After having watched the video, spend a moment to reflect upon synchronicity. Have you had any similar experiences in your life? If yes, I would very much like to hear about them/read your comments. If not, make it a regular practice to focus in your mind upon expanding it, making space for synchronic events to occur – and see what starts to happen as you shift your thoughts and your way of thinking. Our minds work in miraculous ways, and there is a tendency for miracles to happen as soon as we make space for them to manifest in our lives.
Synchronicity, the roots of which are grounded in primitive magic, has always existed. Although a suspect concept to “scientific minds”, synchronicity has been widely practiced and researched across the world, not only in primitive cultures having a firm belief in sympathetic connection comparable to modern-day telepathy – in fact, Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), a Swiss psychiatrist, psychotherapist and founder of analytical psychology, created a concept out of synchronicity in addition to his work upon collective unconscious, archetypes, extra-version, and introversion (part of his psychometric instrument The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).
Pythagorean sympathy of all things, Taoism, ESP, and iChing give additional insight into synchronicity and synchronous leadership practices.
Other useful reading:
Greenleaf, R.K. Servant Leadership: A journey into the nature of legitimate power and greatness
Jaworski, J. Synchronicity
Jung, C. Jung on Synchronicity and the Paranormal: Key Readings
Jung, C. Synchronicity – An Acausal Connecting Principle
Koestler, A. The Roots of Coincidence – An Excursion into Parapsychology
Levy, P. Awaken in The Dream – Catching The Bug of Synchronicity
Pruett, J. Historical Synchronicity
Senge, P. The Necessary Revolution: How Individuals and Organizations Are Working Together to Create a Sustainable World
Anne-Maria Yritys 
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