How Can You Earn Respect?

Always have courage to speak up, if and when something is important enough not to be kept quiet about. Direct confrontation is often better than sweeping challenges under a rug. Just make sure to prepare well: all communication is negotiation. The better you are at negotiating, the easier it gets to communicate and to make progress towards a common goal. If someone is blocking communication and ignoring you there is very little you can do except for focusing upon yourself and your goals. Walking away from a specific situation is sometimes the best thing you can do. When someone disrespects you, the problematic behavior starts with them. Do not give in to people who manipulate.

If your counterpart is unable to rise up to a respectful way of communication, cut ties. They will come back once they have grown up to be able to communicate respectfully and if not, count your blessings. You do not need disrespectful or manipulative people in your inner circle, or around you at all for that matter. Although it is a fact that social interactions take place everywhere, and you will always encounter different types of people with different kinds of personalities.

Quite frankly, respect in itself does NOT have to be earned. Of course, an individual can be respected for her/his specific achievements, qualifications or position in life. We can respect the elderly for their life experiences and a hopefully grown wisdom during their lengthy lives. Respect is often culturally related, or tied to organizational hierarchies although it may in fact be a threat to democracy if someone is being respected only for their position. Position in itself should not alone be tied to respect. In democracies, people in positions of authority MUST be approachable and we must at all times have the opportunity to question things of importance. The ME TOO-movement that led to thousands of girls and women (and, some men too!) to finally speaking up about for instance occurred discrimination and sexual harassment is a good example of how common disrespectful behavior is even in (Western) democracies.

Every human being deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their material status or position in life.

Showing respect only to people with influence or those with a high social status is endangering both our personal development as human beings, as well as a democratic society where everyone should have an equal voice, and an equal right to express opinion without fear of various threats. This is a topic that can and should be discussed from many different angles and with many different perspectives. We know that restrictions in terms of freedom of speech and having to fear expressing your opinions are in fact commonly violated human rights in most parts of the world.

In interpersonal relationships, a lack of respect usually includes behaviors whereby one individual constantly breaks or pushes another person´s boundaries. This can relate to the fact that the individual in general is unaware of what is respectful behavior and what is not, a complete lack of awareness and a high amount of ignorance for the well-being of other human beings, or quite frankly the fact that certain types of personalities actually do enjoy to push and to break boundaries on purpose just to see how far they can get with their manipulative behavior. This is unfortunately not something that only children do. Many adults, unless taught how to behave and kept in place through consistent discipline and self-management, are experts at breaking and pushing boundaries. Such behaviors must never be tolerated.

Disrespectful behavior and a disregard for, or a violation of, another individual´s boundaries can be identified through following examples:

– Poor interpersonal communication and/or a complete ignorance of someone else´s needs or wants.

– Self-centeredness and one-sided relationships. A lack of interest in other human beings. (Only seeing oneself).

– Poor or non-existing listening skills. Many people are unfortunately poor listeners. They have a constant need to express their opinions and make themselves heard without ever hearing what other people have to say.

– Not responding. Not responding to e-mails, texts, or phone calls. Not calling back. If someone does this to you, leave them alone.

– Putting words in someone else´s mouth. Thinking you know what is best for them. Making decisions for other people without asking them or caring about their opinion.

– Belittling or minimizing someone else´s accomplishments or experiences.

– Gaslighting behavior.

– Pretending to be stupid or asking you to behave in their preferred way (remember that you are an individual, not an extension of anyone else! Nor are you anyone´s puppy or slave.

– Bullying, gossiping and spreading rumours. You can be certain of the fact that people who gossip about other people to you are also doing this behind your back.

– General manipulative behaviors, such as sugar coating the truth or lying (to your face), constantly making fun of you – especially about sensitive matters that they know are of importance to you, cynical comments and sarcasm directed at you, and at your expense. If you speak up about these, they come up with explanations and accuse you of being overly sensitive or that you are imagining things (gaslighting).

Many disrespectful and manipulative behaviors and tactics can be so subtle and slowly creep into any relationship that we fail to take action or notice the red flags. The better you know what is appropriate and what is inappropriate behavior and communication, the faster can you take action and terminate unwanted behaviors or even the whole relationship.

Unfortunately, you cannot force people to respect you but you can refuse to be disrespected!

Knowing your boundaries and not giving your power away to other people is the best way to stay intact from toxic or manipulative behavior. Self-respect and knowing one´s worth as a human being are the easiest and fastest ways of earning other people´s respect too. Confident people know how to say no. Confident people are assertive. Confident people speak up. Confident people know their truth. Confident people do not get swayed easily, although they know how to bend and stay flexible if appropriate.

Be confident. Be assertive. Be strong.

Anne-Maria Yritys 13.2.2019

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Thoughts About Democracy, Education & Innovation

August 26, 2018 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Change Leadership, Democracy, Equal Leadership, Leadership Development, Thought Leadership

WEF video: The World Innovation Index 2017

Since the current government in Finland cut 600 M€ from education (175 M€ in 2019), can we expect that Finland will soon fall out from the top 10 category as well?

Pisa studies about school performance already indicate that many students have problems with basic learning skills, such as reading.

Teacher unemployment is skyrocketing and due to huge cuts within research and development, Finland is losing many of its bright minds who move to other countries.

Instead, the current right-wing, capitalistic and miserable government aims at building a labor market in this country where people are forced to work for free. Highly-educated Finns are unemployed simply because the current system allows it. Businesses and organizations want free labor. Our current government is probably the lousiest throughout history.

Since Finns are not willing to work for free, the government is investing in attracting uneducated people from abroad to do the same jobs for a lousy salary.

Government and media (propaganda) suggests that unemployment is below 7%. Makes one wonder where and how they have managed to scratch together these kinds of statistics. Crafting all kinds of statistics is an easy thing to do, but one has to be able to read and to interpret them critically.

It is not enough that markets and people are being analyzed just based on data and statistics, especially if data and statistics give people biased or even false information.

On the other hand, people must have enough knowledge and understanding to interpret data and statistics. That is of course impossible if the population of a country is illiterate. Illiteracy is thus a big threat to democracy.

Does the current government of Finland want to continue tearing down democracy? At the very moment, our so called democracy is already debatable, since a mere 200 representatives and a right-wing government make downright stupid decisions without asking the whole population what the citizens want or need.

Finland´s ostensible democracy needs an update. At least Finnish citizens should be reminded of what western democracy signifies and what kinds of rights western democracy has to guarantee for its citizens. Look at Switzerland, a country where not a single important decision is being made without referendum.

Anne-Maria Yritys, MBA and Vocational Teacher. 25.8.2018

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Och samma på svenska:

Kommer Finland att kunna behålla sin plats inom top 10 efter de massiva nedskärningar inom utbildningen (600 M €/175 M € år 2019) som vår nuvarande regering är ansvarig för?

De senaste Pisa-studierna visar redan tecken på att många elever och utbildande har problem med grundkunskaper, inklusive läsning.

Allt för många lärare i Finland måste gå och stämpla för att regeringen har skurit ned på forskning och utveckling så dessa människor flyttar utomlands där deras kunskaper är uppskattade inom arbets- och näringslivet.

Istället för att satsa på den arbetskraft som redan finns i landet verkar den nuvarande, urusla regeringen satsa på att ändra på den nuvarande arbetsmarknaden så att folk är tvungna att jobba gratis. Högt utbildade finnar går arbetslösa bara för att det nuvarande systemet tillåter det. Det har blivit en vana att firmor och organisationer förväntar sig att få gratis arbetskraft. Vår nuvarande regering i Finland är nog den sämsta vi har haft i hela landets historia.

Eftersom finnar inte vill arbeta gratis vill regeringen attrahera billig arbetskraft från utomlands för att jobba med dåliga löner.

Regeringens och mediernas (propaganda) information påstår att arbetslösheten ligger under 7%. Man måste ju verkligen undra var och hur i helvete de har lyckats få ihop sådana statistiker.

Det är ju så enkelt att få ihop en massa statistiker, men man måste också kunna läsa och tolka dessa kritiskt.

Det räcker inte att marknader och människor blir analyserade endast på en massa data och statistiker, speciellt om data och statistiker ger människor förskönad eller t.o.m. förvrängd information.

Å andra sidan bör människor ha tillräckligt med kunskaper och förståelse för att kunna tolka data och statistiker. Det lyckas tyvärr inte om invånarna består av analfabeter. Analfabetism är därför en stor risk för demokratin.

Vill Finlands nuvarande regering smula ner Finlands demokrati ännu mer? Demokratin är ju redan nu osäker när endast 200 riksdagsledamöter och en högerregering fattar dumma beslut utan att fråga hela befolkningen vad de vill eller behöver.

Finlands så kallade demokrati behöver en uppdatering. Åtminstone vore det bra att påminna finländare om vad demokrati betyder och vad för slags rättigheter demokratin bör garantera medborgarna. Se på Schweiz, där inte ett enda viktiga beslut fattas utan en direkt folkomröstning.

Anne-Maria Yritys, MBA och Yrkeslärare. 25.8.2018

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Sama suomeksi:

Saa nähdä, pystyykö Suomi pitämään paikkansa maailman top 10 innovatiivisimpina maina sen jälkeen kun nykyhallitus päätti leikata koulutussektorilta massiiviset 600 M€, joista 175 m€ vuonna 2019.

Viimeisimpien Pisa-tutkimusten mukaan monilla koululaisilla ja opiskelijoilla Suomessa on jo ongelmia perustietojen hallinnassa, kuten lukemisessa.

Aivan liian moni suomalainen opettaja, lehtori ja professori joutuu hakemaan työttömyyskorvauksia hallituksen leikattua tutkimuksesta ja kehityksestä elleivät he sitten ole jo muuttaneet töiden perässä maihin, joissa oppilaitokset ja yliopistot ottavat heidät avosylin vastaan (suomalainen koulutus on ainakin tähän asti ollut ulkomailla erittäin arvostettua, toisin kuin kotimaassamme!).

Sen sijaan että surkea, kapitalistinen ja lyhytnäköinen nykyhallituksemme ymmärtää sijoittaa maassa jo olevaan työvoimaan, pyritään Suomesta luomaan halpatyövoiman maa pakottaen ihmiset työskentelemään ilmaiseksi. Korkeasti koulutetut suomalaiset ovat työttömiä vain koska nykyjärjestelmä sen sallii erilaisten tukien ja avustusten muodossa, joista näyttää tulleen jo normaalitila Suomessa. Suomen nykyinen hallitus taitaa olla maan kautta historian SURKEIN.

Koska suomalaiset eivät ymmärrettävistä syistä halua työskennellä palkatta, yrittää hallitus seuraavaksi investoida halpatyövoiman houkuttelemiseksi ulkomailta. Korvataan suomalaiset osaajat vaikkapa luku- ja kirjoitustaidottomilla. Mitä tyhmempi väestö, sen parempi nykyhallituksen mielestä, kunhan saadaan edullista työvoimaa.

Hallituksen ja Suomen medioiden informaatio-(propaganda) koneisto väittää työttömyyden laskeneen alle 7%:in. Kiinnostaisi tietää, miten ihmeessä he ovat onnistuneet luomaan kyseisen tilaston. Kaikenlaisia tilastoja kun on helppo luoda, mutta niitä täytyy myös osata lukea ja tulkita kriittisesti.

Ei riitä, että markkinoita ja ihmisiä analysoidaan pelkän datan ja tilastojen pohjalta, varsinkaan jos data ja tilastot antavat ihmisille kaunisteltua tai jopa vääristeltyä tietoa.

Toisekseen, ihmisillä täytyy olla riittävästi osaamista ja ymmärrystä tulkita dataa ja tilastoja. Sehän ei tietenkään onnistu mikäli väestö on luku- ja kirjoitustaidotonta. Väestön luku- ja kirjoitustaidottomuus on näin ollen suuri riski demokratialle.

Haluaako Suomen nykyhallitus murentaa Suomen demokratiaa entisestään? Eihän täällä toteudu demokratia tälläkään hetkellä, kun 200 kansanedustajaa ja oikeistohallitus tekevät typeriä päätöksiään kysymättä koko kansalta mitä kansa haluaa tai tarvitsee.

Suomen näennäinen demokratia kaipaa päivitystä. Ainakin suomen kansalaisia olisi hyvä muistuttaa siitä, mitä länsimainen demokratia tarkoittaa ja millaisia oikeuksia demokratian pitää kansalaisilleen taata. Mallia voi ottaa Sveitsistä, missä yhtään tärkeää päätöstä ei tehdä ilman suoraa kansanäänestystä.

Anne-Maria Yritys. MBA ja AmO. 25.8.2018.

What Are You Thankful for in Your Life?

July 26, 2018 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Change Leadership, Leadership Development, Leadership development coaching, Personal Development

Some memories from an unforgettable trip from July 2012 when I was backpacking by myself for a month in Cambodia, Vietnam (and Thailand). I took my AOWD in Sihanoukville, Cambodia, and stayed at an almost desert island for a couple of days.

Would love to travel back to Cambodia again, although it was a journey that changed my perspective on life for good. Seeing the suffering of the people in Cambodia broke my heart. That is how much war causes destruction to both the economy and the well-being of the population in a country. The country has plenty of war cripples, many of whom miss arms, legs, or both, due to landmines that have still not been cleaned up from the country´s environment although it has been more than 40 years now since the civil war officially ended.

Widespread corruption is one of the reasons why the country has still not recovered well from the genocide. There is still a lack of doctors and hospitals: those Cambodians who can afford it, travel to Ho Chi Minh in Vietnam to see a doctor. The bus ride on the poor roads in Cambodia takes too many hours to Saigon, and the country has still no railroads.

I used to think that Thailand is a developing country, but after visiting Cambodia my perspective changed. When you enter Thailand after a visit to Cambodia, it is like returning back to civilization. Bangkok, as far as I know, has some of the best hospitals in the world.

I would not necessarily travel just anywhere in the world alone as a woman, but South East Asia is 100% safe to travel even as a woman alone. Cambodia and Vietnam are backpacker´s paradises and destinations where you see many women travel alone.

I was just almost killed by a green viper that fell down from a tree in the jungle of Angkor Wat when I was resting in the shadow from the burning sun. To my luck, the snake decided not to bite me, perhaps since I stayed still and did not move an inch.

That was my second near-death experience. The first one had been in Finland a couple of years earlier, when I was traveling by train from Eastern Finland to Helsinki.

There was a heavy storm, and suddenly trees fell on the train and its windows, including where I was sitting. If the train windows were not bulletproof, I’d be dead by now since a number of trees were slapping the window exactly where I was sitting. The train had to stop, and we waited for a couple of hours before we were evacuated and brought by bus transportations from the middle of the forest railroad back to our homes.

When I think back on these memories, I am grateful for being alive every day.

Which is Your Favorite Defense Mechanism and Why?

June 30, 2018June 30, 2018 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Change communication, Change Leadership, Communication Skills, Leadership Development, Leadership development coaching

Which defense mechanisms do you use when communicating with other people?

Learn how to upgrade your communication skills by becoming more assertive and mature.

Start by taking responsibility for your own behavior.

Read more about various defense mechanisms at

15 Common Defense Mechanisms

Why Wo(men) Should Stop Being Politely Angry

April 27, 2018April 27, 2018 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Change communication, Change Leadership, Communication Skills, Female Leadership, Leadership Development, Leadership development coaching

Holding on to any “unwanted” feelings, such as anger, fear, guilt, or shame, will only lead to unwanted consequences, such as depression. I know this from a personal experience. It is so important to acknowledge and to ALLOW all your feelings, and express them in a healthy way. If you are angry, find a healthy way to express and to get rid of your anger. It does not mean that you should go and hit someone. That is not healthy. A healthy expression of anger would be to a) acknowledge that you are angry b) knowing the real reason behind your anger c) speaking up about your anger, or, if it is not possible, writing about it, even for yourself d) finding (alternative) ways of expressing your anger, such as sports, working for a good cause, politics, creative arts or writing, yoga/meditation etc.

If you have at least ONE trusted person who you can speak up about your negative emotions/feelings, it will help you heal.

Or? How do you deal with your negative emotions?

Feel free to comment. Although this video talks about women´s (often hidden) anger, many men keep emotions and feelings inside themselves too. Keeping these to yourself, without any healthy form of expression, will only harm you and your health, creating blockages from living and enjoying your life to the fullest.

Tracee Ellis Ross | TED2018: A woman´s fury holds lifetimes of wisdom

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What Makes a Loyal Leader?

March 26, 2018March 26, 2018 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Authentic Leadership, Building Relationships, Change Leadership, Leadership Development, Leadership development coaching, Leadership Mentoring and Coaching, Leadership Skills and Qualities, Responsible Leadership, Thought Leadership

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In a world where majority of people could not care less, be an exception to the rule.

Don’t let the world turn you into a cold, cynical, and exploitative person who builds thick walls around themselves and who shuts out all their feelings, unable to be authentic, caring, and genuine. Who leaves people colder than how they found them.

This world needs genuine people with soft skills. Authentic leaders who create, engage and lead the way but who also know how to set healthy boundaries and who know what is acceptable and what is not. People who create awareness rather than destroy it, people who know how to keep the calm rather than cause constant chaos and conflict. People who know how to truly listen, rather than speaking about themselves all the time.

Be cautious about who is a giver and who is a taker, who cannot stop admiring and talking excessively about themselves at all times, who is self-centered and who is not. True leaders never talk about themselves and their achievements all the time. True leaders know how to give credit rather than constantly being the center of attention themselves.

True leaders are interested in other people, and not just for the sake of making a quick profit at the expense of the relationships. Who say that they don’t lead to showcase their trophies, but who nonetheless never hesitate to advertise their personally perceived greatness as a leader by the amount of prizes and medals they have collected. Just to brag and to show off. Look at me, and look at my trophies.

Too many broken promises, empty and meaningless words expressed by people who have lost touch with their true nature and personality. Who seek to profit from others at all costs, unable to build and to maintain honest, long-lasting relationships. That is not leadership.

In a world where manipulation, deceit and hypocrisy have become a rule rather than an exception, people having thousands of fake friends who are more than willing to take and to suck all the energy out of you like vampires thirsty for more and more blood, make sure to be solid like a rock and live your authenticity regardless of what anyone else may say or think.

Look out for people who are there for you not only when they think they can profit from you. Who put a price tag on you. As soon as these people notice that you are just an ordinary human being, they disappear or never show up. Because to them, being associated with influential people with money is everything. As long as you are a materialistic millionaire you fit into their club. Otherwise, they think they can just exploit you of whatever they think they can get out of you, like your knowledge.

Be a genuine lightworker, a leader with purpose who is not afraid of lighting the path for others.

Anne-Maria Yritys 2018.

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“The Future Belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

August 18, 2017 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Change Leadership, Coaching for excellence, Leadership Development

Courage and heart

Bitterness, doubt, envy, fear, grief and hatred are all a waste of our life energy. We have all experienced these negative feelings in one way or the other, but in order to heal ourselves we have to let go of our worries to heal our wounds.

I have personally lost many friends, one of whom suddenly died at the age of 45 with a heart disease, leaving behind a loving husband and two small children. I have personally survived two near-death experiences, which I did realize only months and years after they occurred. My guardian Angels were there for me.

One of my aunts had a rare lung disease, and received a rare lung transplantation in 2011. Without this donation, she would not be here today. I also have two very close relatives who have suffered serious kidney problems, one of whom had a new kidney transplanted in 2012. The other person has this in front of him, and I am only praying for him to have courage and health to go through all of this.

We often waste time on useless activities, worry too much, fear too much. While you are healthy, make sure to live your life fully and never waste a day to do the things that are really important to you. You never know what will happen tomorrow, so let go of all fears and negative feelings, make sure to transform them into positive actions and energy and live your life fully.

Did Nelson Mandela end his life in bitterness after 27 years of wrong imprisonment? No, he was a true hero and a leader who we all should admire greatly. Even after he was treated maliciously, he rose up after spending almost three decades in prison to become the person who ended Apartheid in South Africa and who became a hugely loved president and world leader.

What are you waiting for? What do you personally want to change/improve in society? Do not hesitate – take action NOW! And, always remember, the future is created by those who believe in the beauty of their dreams (Eleanor Roosevelt).

I hope this post was helpful. Stay strong!

Inspiring Leadership

July 15, 2017 by Anne-Maria Yritys, posted in Empowering Leadership, Inspirational Leadership, Leadership, Leadership Development, Leadership development coaching, Leadership Mentoring and Coaching, Thought Leadership

Leadership & motivation from Anne-Maria Yritys