Lighthouses do not go running all over an island, or across oceans, looking for boats to save.
Tag: emotional intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
Feelings are much like waves. We cannot stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf. ~ Jonathan Mårtensson
How Can You Create a Successful Leadership Mentality?
Enthusiasm Moves the World (Arthur Balfor)
If you are an individual seeking to make a positive difference in your environment, you have to admit that you have both climbed mountains and descended into deep valleys, sometimes questioning whether your attitude really does make a difference.
It does.
No matter what you may have been through in your life, in your career, you must realize that everything has served its purpose. Without these valuable experiences, you would be only half as knowledgeable, so instead of mourning and remaining paralyzed, transform your valuable lessons into powerful wisdom and use it not only to your personal advantage, but also to become a positive role model for others.
Your Enthusiasm will be Infectious, stimulating and attractive to others. They will love you for it. They will go for you, and with you. (Norman Vincent Peale)
However, make sure to keep a few important things in mind when creating a winning leadership mentality for yourself, including:
1. Successful leaders compete only against themselves, not against others. Most of all, successful leaders are gentle toward themselves, and toward others.
Life, and career, is no competition with people around you. Nor is it a competition with yourself, however ambitious and determined you are. Do not make your life a constant competition. Focus rather on practicing gentleness towards yourself and towards others, and make it a regular exercise to find a positive balance between challenging yourself, and letting yourself rest. It makes no sense to burn your candle at both ends. Real self-worth and passion comes from within, not from exhausting yourself either with too high personal expectations or trying to fulfill external expectations at all costs.
2. Successful Leaders do not give their personal power away to others.
If you are a good listener and an empathetic individual, you have to learn how to shield yourself against taking upon you the negative energies of others, or letting people manipulate you. Learn how to be assertive, but not aggressive, and how to be gentle in a sophisticated way, without taking upon you the energies of others, unless they truly are uplifting and positive. It is a positive trait in people to have two ears and one mouth, and to use them accordingly, but practice assertiveness in yourself and focus upon spreading your light instead of letting people and society around you to drain your energy. Find ways of getting rid of negativity quickly, either through surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people, meditation, spending time in nature and so forth. If you notice that certain relationships always seem to bring up negativity, make sure to detach yourself as soon as possible and focus upon getting back on track as soon as possible.
Successful leaders live with the 3 E ́s: Empathy, Energy and Enthusiasm
3. Successful leaders stay in tune with their personal values.
Simple. Know your values and stick to them. Be assertive, confident, and focused. If you have forgotten about your real core values, make sure to find yourself back to them, and remind yourself about them each and every day. Find ways of reminding yourself, be it through a daily repetition of a mantra or simply waking up in the morning with a smiling soul, full of optimism, making sure that you will make the best of each and every day living according to your values, without harming yourself or others.
4. Successful leaders have a principle of staying true to themselves, but are also willing to help, and to support others.
Great leadership starts with knowing yourself. Even greater leadership allows for you to forget about serving your ego. All great leaders live with a meaning and purpose of serving a higher good, helping others, and serving others. A true, winning leadership mentality can shine only when it serves a higher purpose. Respect yourself and others by focusing upon being a role model of positive actions and optimism instead of finding fault either in yourself or in others. Remember also that your greatness requires the ability of being at peace with yourself. We all deserve leaders with healthy personal qualities so make sure to stay healthy and take care of yourself first.
5. Successful leaders develop their communication skills. Every day.
Every change-making leader is marked by outstanding communication skills. Excellent communication is demanding, especially if and when you work long hours and have great responsibilities. Therefore, make sure to learn how to save your energy through developing your communication, and negotiation skills. Powerful, respectful communication requires assertiveness, consciousness, an ability to tap into your personal source, and most of all, having the capability of truly listening to yourself, and to those you communicate with. Practice also on listen to what is left unsaid, and what you possibly can read between the lines. Online communication especially does include a number of challenges, which requires for you the capability of tuning extra carefully into what is being communicated. Successful negotiation, on the other hand, should always create a win-win situation.
Communication must be HOT. That is Honest, Open, and Two-Way (Dan Oswald)
6. Successful leaders are physically, mentally and spiritually in balance.
Physical, mental and spiritual balance requires continuous efforts, but to be truly successful in your career, and in your life, you have to be in shape. The more demanding your life is, the more you will have to work on maintaining this balance. What this includes, and signifies, is individual to each one of us. Listen to the signals your body is giving you, but also to your dreams, daydreams, thoughts and senses. You are the master of your own temple, so make sure to nurture it accordingly.
7. Successful leaders have trust, and are trustworthy.
When leaders tap into their higher consciousness, and operate on a level from the super-ego, rather than based upon fears stemming from the subconscious level, they open up to whole new levels of possibilities. Tapping into one’s intuition and therefore, having access to the abundance on the upper levels of consciousness creates completely different experiences, and offers increasingly prosperous outcomes in every action. To learn more about stepping into your intuition, I recommend reading The Intuitive Way: A Guide to Living from Inner Wisdom written by Penney Pierce.
From Powerless to “Leader” – Recognizing Victimizers & Victim mentality by Esperanza Montalvo:
Thank you for reading, listening, watching, liking and commenting. Thank you also for emancipating yourself in a positive way and becoming a positive role model, and a catalyst for improved communication and leadership.
What Do You Need to Succeed in Business?
I never dreamed about success. I worked for it. (Estee Lauder)
Your success in business, entrepreneurship and in life, in general, can be defined by a number of factors, and through how hard and persistent you are willing to work in order to reach your personal goals. It does not matter whether you are an apprentice, a clerk, a CEO or whatever your current title may be. Rather, forget about and drop your title and focus upon what you truly want to achieve in life.
We continuously grow and learn in and through life. What you are today may not be equal with what you want to be, and will be tomorrow.
Many people dream about being CEO´s, but as soon as they get the experience of being one, they start dreaming about becoming something else. Before you throw yourself into something because of the title (or, the money), consider the WHY. Why do you want to be XYZ? What is your purpose? And, what is your passion?
No matter what, your desires may change with time and experience. After all, we are here to develop, evolve and learn not only about our environments, but also about ourselves. How far you are willing to go in your career depends upon a number of factors, and personal qualities, in addition to your maturity as an individual.
The definition of success is personal, but succeeding in business and entrepreneurship withholds a number of internal and external attributes that you either possess or should actively develop in yourself in order to succeed in business life.
1. Know what you stand for. Know yourself, what you are about, and what you have to offer. Know the services/products you are capable of, and willing to, offer your clients.
If you do not know yourself or your business, how can you assume anyone else can? The first thing you have to do in order to become successful, is to define yourself, your values, your purpose, passion, and what you and your business have to offer.
2. Ambition.
Ambition is a natural attribute in human beings. There is nothing wrong in being ambitious. If people told you otherwise, you have to unlearn this nonsense. Be ambitious in achieving your dreams and in working for a purpose. However, learn how to distinguish between being normally ambitious and in being extremely ambitious. People may fear extreme ambition, so be aware of stepping upon other people´s toes. Nevertheless, learn how to say no and how to stand up for your personal beliefs. After all, you do not want to end up being a people-pleasing doll or anything alike.
3. Determination.
Business, and life in general, requires determination. You have to be willing to throw your hat in the ring. You have to learn how to be stronger than your fears, and even though we all have certain fears, it is necessary to learn how to win your fears and transform these into positive action. Nothing worth doing is easy, but the more actions you take, and the more you step out of your personal comfort zone, the more you will gain. Try it out and see for your self.
4. Vision.
Know yourself, your business, and have a direction. Without goals and direction your ship will simply sail across the oceans being at risk for losing both its sight, and the people on board.
5. Emotional Intelligence.
In business, entrepreneurship, life in general and in all social interaction you will have to learn emotional intelligence skills. Emotional intelligence includes a wide spectrum of capabilities, such as learning how to read people, how to cope and how to negotiate in challenging situations, but also how to protect yourself from toxic people in your environment and how to remove their power over your (business) life. Developing, and learning, emotional intelligence skills are essential for succeeding in life, and in business. I can warmly recommend for you to read Emotional Intelligence 2.0, a book written by Dr. Travis Bradberry and Jean Grives, recommended by The Dalai Lama himself, including life-changing tips in how to become more successful in your life, and in business. Do not let the lack of emotional intelligence be a hinder for your personal, and/or, business success.
6. Soft Skills.
Use your soft skills and life/professional experience to succeed. Be yourself, be authentic. People do, and will notice whether you are authentic or not. There is no point in playing roles, or in trying hard to be something else than you truly are. Get rid of your fears, and get real. People who appreciate your true, authentic nature, will find their way to you and stay around you. In a world that sometimes may feel harsh, soft skills are in real demand. The world needs authentic, true people who are capable of developing leadership and business using soft skills for success. You are the one to demonstrate those traits, and qualities, to businesses, people, organizations, and societies around you.
7. Drive, passion, purpose, and love for what you do in life.
Expressing passion, purpose, and love for everything you undertake in life and in business, will lead you to success. If you have no passion for what you do, you may as well give up and let someone else take over. Dance as if this were your last day in life – do not be afraid to sweat, nor about giving yourself fully into whatever you are practicing, as long as it serves your passions, and purposes.
8. Risk-taking capability and risk-tolerance.
All action, business, and entrepreneurship requires risk-taking capabilities. Without any risks, there cannot be any rewards. However, integrate risk management into your operational practices and never risk more than you can actually handle.
9. Self-confidence, trust in yourself in and in your future plans.
All success requires action, and action requires the ability of overcoming your fears. There is always a risk of failure, but those who want to avoid failure at all costs are never capable of taking action and vice versa. Therefore, have confidence in yourself, in the things you do and want to pursue, and create an attitude for success.
10. Learn how to plan your future, have an open mind, be determined, and willing to succeed.
Things do not always turn out, or unfold, the way we want them to, but all successful action, business, and entrepreneurship requires for its leader to be capable of planning ahead, and most preferably long-term. There is a point in living in the present moment, but future success also requires for you to be capable of planning the future of your life, and business.
11. Essential business AND people skills.
You can, and will, learn business and people skills through work and business life, but also through international business management education such as earning an MBA (or, another higher education including people management skills). If not through education, then through practical experiences. Life, and business, are about developing and creating long-term partnerships and relationships. Therefore, these skills will be essential for your success in business, and in life. Essential business skills, knowledge, understanding and wisdom also include the capability of understanding global operations holistically, understanding economics, politics, and geography.
Finally, learn through this YouTube video what Richard Branson has to say about succeeding in life, and in business:
Thank you for reading, commenting, liking and for sharing this post. Thank you also for having passion, purpose, and drive in your life, as well as using your soft skills together with your emotional intelligence.
How Can You Be Truly Convincing?
“By 2029, computers will have emotional intelligence and be convincing as people”. (Ray Kurzweil, Brainyquote.com. 12.11.2014)
Do you believe in a future where computers have emotional intelligence? Can emotional intelligence be integrated into computers, when not even all human beings are capable of maximizing their potential in terms of emotional intelligence?
If you have ever worked in sales, you know how important it is to not only sound, but to actually BE, convincing. In fact, this applies to others than just salespeople, or, put in a wider perspective, we all kind of work in sales, at all times, and in all situations in life.
However, being convincing is not a synonym to being truthful. Although sales, as any other performance, should always include being truthful, there are always people who do not care so much about the truth, or who prefer creating their own truth. We find examples of these across society, of people who convince themselves first, and are color-blind to truth. I have once before quoted Anaïs Nin in this perspective: “We do not see the world as it is. We see it as we are”.
Throughout centuries, truth has been discussed by philosophers, with a number of frameworks and theories built around a single word with so much meaning. Without going deeper into the different philosophical theories about truth, I just want to pinpoint that truth can be personal, and what is true to another individual, is not necessarily true to you. Some people are very convincing without actually telling the truth (a common truth that applies to the majority of people). There are many sad stories about individuals living their personal truths with a lack of morals, and humanity. Without having to explain further, I am pretty sure that you can think of a number of these.
What does it take to be convincing? It is quite simple:
Being convincing requires having confidence and trust in yourself.
You also need to be convinced about the matter/product/situation. Selling Snow from the Sahara requires your personal conviction about the existence of snow in the Sahara. It is impossible to sell something that actually does not exist – that would equal to fooling your clients.
In solution-based, client-oriented selling you can of course, in cooperation with your customer, define their needs, and based on those needs, create a tailored solution for them. That is problem-solving with and for the client. But you cannot promise a client that you can provide them with snow from the Sahara when you both know that there is no snow in the Sahara. And even if your customer does not know this, YOU know.
Conviction includes taking moral responsibility in the first place. It also requires technical knowledge about what it is you are offering. All too often it is a fact that clients are offered various kinds of solutions by people who do not even know their products well enough. This includes not only a risk for the customer, who pays for the service/product, but also risks for the service/product provider: low quality leads to unsatisfied customers, and is a real slap in the face in regards to your brand’s image and reputation.
Want to act morally and truthfully correct? Integrate the following into your (work) life:
– Do not get involved into anything that is against your personal values/morals/knowledge/beliefs.
– Always be truthful to your clients/people around you.
– Know your product/service before actually offering it to your clients. If there is something you do not know, make sure to inform yourself so that you do not let your clients down.
– Take responsibility. True professionals and experts have not only a broad knowledge in their field, but are also continuously developing themselves, and seek to transform their knowledge into wisdom.
– Live as you teach. There is no point in saying something, but acting in the opposite way.
“You cannot convince anyone of anything. You can only give them the right information in order for them to convince themselves”. (Eben Pagan. Quote Essays.com. 12.11.2014).
Picking Yourself Up And Dusting Yourself Off
What makes someone a skillful leader? And who is qualified to be a leader?
The response to the second question is easy, but the first one requires a bit more of reflection. In my opinion, the list is never-ending, and a great leader never ceases to develop him or her.
Some important skills for any leader:
HUMANITY
Any leader needs to remember that we are all equal on this planet, despite of our backgrounds.
HUMILITY
Leadership is not about position – it´s about character.
ACCOUNTABILITY
Keep your promises and don´t let people down.
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
This is perhaps one of the most difficult of all including not only language and speaking skills, but also other means of communications such as writing, reading, and listening skills + gestures and expressions.
DECISIVENESS
Sometimes decision-making takes time, but please don´t let it take forever! Sometimes a bad decision is better than no decision at all.
TEAM-BUILDING SKILLS
Team-building is necessary because no one of us can survive alone, nor do all the work by ourselves.
TEAM WORKING SKILLS
The team is only as strong as its weakest link so make sure to empower all your team members.
Team work is key to success.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
This is probably one of the most important. Take time to develop your emotional intelligence – it is possible.
CAPABILITY OF WORKING ALONE
Ok, team work is important, but you also need to be capable of working in solitude.
EMPATHY
You don´t have to carry all the problems of the world, some empathy won´t harm you either.
SENSE OF HUMOR
Life is not always easy so a good proportion of humor and an ability to laugh at yourself and your mistakes is important when coping in different kinds of circumstances.
ABILITY TO PRIORITIZE
Work first, then the fun.
FLEXIBILITY
Many unexpected things may happen so be prepared for obstacles.
OPENNESS
If you are not open-minded, how can you see all the possibilities in front of you?
ANALYTICAL SKILLS
The more complex the business, the more important to know how to analyze.
RELIABILITY
Stick to your deadlines!
SELF-DISCIPLINE
Learn to lead yourself before leading others.
GOOD MANNERS
A “thank you” does not cost you anything.
SENSE OF MORAL/ETHICS
Great leaders do the right things.
OPTIMISM
Essential if you want to thrive.
REALISM
Understanding the hard facts.
CULTURAL AWARENESS
If you´re into international/global business, it is important to know the etiquette and the customs of the country in question.
NEGOTIATION SKILLS
Essential in order to reach your goals.
CREATIVITY
Sometimes, creativity is the only way forward. If opportunity does not knock, build a door!
ACTIVITY
Great leaders don´t wait for things to happen. They make things happen!
RESILIENCE
Things may sometimes be difficult and life provides many kinds of obstacles on our paths, but great leaders never give up.
EMBRACING FAILURE
We all make mistakes and fail sometimes, but great leaders pick themselves and their teams up and dust themselves off.
PASSION
A great leader has a passion for everything he or she does.
HUNGER FOR SUCCESS
Together with passion, a great leader is hungry for success and wants to achieve what´s important to him/her.
In times of adversity, listening to a good song can be helpful in cheering yourself up:
Lyrics for “Pick Yourself Up” (Original: Nat King Cole)
“Pick yourself up,
Take a deep breath,
Dust yourself off.
And start all over again
Nothing’s impossible, I have found
For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off
And start all over again
Don’t lose your confidence if you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip
And pick yourself up, dust yourself off
And start all over again
Work like a soul inspired
Until the battle of the day is won
You may be sick and tired
But you’ll be a man, my son
Will you remember the famous men
Who had to fall to rise again?
So take a deep breath,
Pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
And start it all over again
Work like a soul inspired
Till the battle of the day is won
You may be sick and tired
But you’ll be a man, my son
Will you remember the famous men
Who had to fall to rise again?
So take a deep breath,
Pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
And start all over again”
Anne-Maria Yritys 
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