What Makes Trust So Important?

It is all about trust. In business, friendships, family, and all kinds of relationships. If people trust you, they’ll do business with you. Depending upon culture, it may take years to build that trust. And, trust can be ruined in a matter of seconds.

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you´ll do things differently. Warren Buffett 

Wise words to live by.

According to American psychologist Abraham Maslow´s hierarchy of needs (1943), human beings all have five common basic needs in life:

  1. Safety and or survival
  2. Food and other basic physiological needs
  3. (Social) belonging and love
  4. Respect and purposefulness (esteem)
  5. Freedom and self-actualization

In building trust with other human beings, we must have trust in ourselves. A lack of trust in self, in other words fear-based actions and self-doubt, can be disastrous for both our own lives and for our interaction with other human beings. To succeed in business and life, we have to understand the basics of human behavior and the basics of human needs, and most preferably some psychology. Why?

According to Harvard Business Review: The 3 Elements of Trust, employees expect leaders to create and to maintain trust through positive relationships, using good judgment/expertise and consistency. Which one of these do you think is most important?

The most single important factor in terms of building and maintaining trust in any relationship is respect. Every human being deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of any external or internal attributes. Showing respect to people goes a long way. On the other hand, a lack of respect quickly leads to mistrust and a complete destruction of the relationship since the lack of respect usually leads to manipulative communication and negotiation tactics and breaking other people´s boundaries.

Never violate boundaries unless you are willing to risk the entire relationship. Never use manipulative tactics when negotiating with people. An experienced negotiator who is knowledgeable about human nature will quickly see through these kinds of tactics, and leading conversations or any kinds of interactions in such a manner will not only endanger your whole negotiation but also complicate the future of the interaction and/or relationship. To build and to maintain trust, it is hence essential to learn how to respect your counterpart. Learn how to listen, and learn how to become a naturally powerful communicator.

In “The Power of a Positive No” (2007), one of the world´s leading experts on negotiation and mediation William Ury gives his readers concrete tools for not only becoming better communicators but in fact also for learning how to succeed in negotiations and how to manage conflicts in constructive rather than destructive ways. He explains the importance of a positive NO, and how anyone can learn how to say no without ruining whole relationships. Ury´s teachings also include situations where the only right thing to do is to withdraw from a negotiation, or to end a (business/personal) relationship.

After all, it all begins and ends with self-respect and knowing one´s boundaries. How can you expect to maintain healthy and productive relationships unless you know how to respect yourself and your boundaries? It is far healthier to say NO in a direct or constructive way than to violate your personal values through people-pleasing or other kinds of fear-based activities/reactions. Healthy and strong people cannot easily be manipulated. They know their worth. They know how to say NO. Sometimes, in very powerful ways.

When you know your value(s) and what you want to achieve (goals), accomplishing these through determination and preparedness is so much easier. Despite of any circumstances, make sure not to victimize yourself or fall into pity ploy. Get rid of any unhealthy habits and ways of communication. This may sometimes be easier said than done. After all, we are all human, and we all make mistakes. When you learn from past experiences and focus upon being present in the now, and in various kinds of human interactions you can develop and improve both your general communication skills as well as your abilities as a negotiator or even mediator. These skills are always in high demand, regardless of profession or life situation.

In order to build and maintain trust, be trustworthy. Be consistent. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Anne-Maria Yritys 6.2.2019

 

 

What Modern Technologies Do You Use to Communicate Your Vision?

Communication is a challenging chapter for most people, including myself. When it comes to modern technologies and digital innovations, communication becomes even more of a challenge. Today, we have more digital tools than ever to communicate and to share our messages and visions to the world. Communication in the digital world has made a democratic breakthrough to everyone who has access to the Internet with its many different communication and digital platforms.

What makes communication so challenging?

This is a question that could, in itself, be discussed separately for hours, even days. In all simplicity, communication is always a challenge because it involves a number of different aspects to consider carefully, starting with the fact that the one who wants to communicate a certain message has to make sure that message is being a) received b) understood by the target audience.

Since us human beings tend to see things from our personal perspective and be more or less poor listeners, how can we guarantee that other people even want to hear what we are communicating? The perhaps biggest mistakes in any kind of communication are our own attitudes, beliefs, judgments and possible prejudices: to become better communicators, we have to let go of these and stop thinking that other people would be similar to ourselves. People generally share many common beliefs, but are also different kinds of communicators depending upon a number of factors, such as background, culture, personality, level of education, language skills, just to name a few.

A simple way to become a better communicator is to become interested in people, cultures, languages and different styles and ways of communication. Being open to continuous learning and development is of course a must. A huge plus is to actually know how to LISTEN to people.

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Someone on Twitter today asked me if I have a factory because of the amount of Tweets (+1,2 million) that I have posted by today, thanks to my own activity and modern technology. I have been active on Twitter since 2011, with currently four Twitter accounts that I use to communicate my messages to the world: @annemariayritys, @aroundomedia, @gccthinkacttank and @leadingwpassion.

Many of you may not believe the fact that I spent years of work on social media to build global networks to spread important messages of e.g. climate change, to almost every country on this planet.

My Tweets have been viewed more than ONE BILLION times per today.

The responsibility involved in leadership communication is immense. I have always tried to speak up about important things fearlessly, at the same time keeping in mind and trying to respect people from different countries and cultures. This has not been an easy road for me, but I have learned a lot.

Most of the credit belongs to Tim Fargo, Founder and President of Social Jukebox, and his ultra powerful content management platform Social Jukebox.

+ the rest is my own ACTIVITY. I uploaded more than 5.000 personal posts to Social Jukebox + use their available library with thousands of pieces of content to choose from.

You can learn more by following me on Twitter:

@annemariayritys
@gccthinkacttank
@leadingwpassion
@aroundomedia

and by subscribing to my free-of-charge newsletter at Anne-Maria Yritys

Learn more about Social Jukebox, which is an ultra powerful content management platform for business owners, entrepreneurs and self-employed professionals who want to benefit from using modern technology while communicating their message and vision to the world.

Social Jukebox

How to Handle Contrary Individuals?

I found this podcast channel, The Little Shaman Healing, on YouTube some time ago while searching for ways of coping and dealing with challenging individuals. Let us face the facts and reality: we all meet them during our lives – people who seem to contradict with just about everything we do or say. Without labeling or diagnosing anyone (which is not our task), the smartest thing we can do in situations like these is to not get involved in any arguments with the individual(s) that are contradicting us. Unless it is an official debate, of course, although official debates do have rules and procedures as well. There is no point in getting involved in useless arguments, the purpose of which is only to create chaos and conflict.

While all of us may at times be contradictory to the ideas, opinions and thoughts of other individuals, that does not hinder us from listening to, and taking into consideration thoughts that differ from our own. It is in fact healthy to be able to open up to different, or even opposite ideas and thoughts. It is another thing when someone, on purpose, contradicts to everything we have to say, or everything we do. That is why ignoring this kind of behavior is the smartest thing you can do. Why waste your time on individuals who intend to hinder, or even slow down, your progress by literally sabotaging everything you do or say? Let their opinions be just opinions, and know how to distinguish between facts and opinions.

If and when you have experienced contradictory behavior, especially when this happens continuously from the same individual, you know exactly what it signifies and how you should deal with it: ignore it, and do not engage in any arguments or conversations with the individual in question if possible. It simply does not lead anywhere. Focus on your own career, goals, and life and minimize the energy you invest in individuals whose sole purpose seems to be to contradict everything you do and say. It is a waste of time.

Listen to The Little Shaman Healing´s podcast about the topic:

Narcissists Are Contrary

 

What is Magical Thinking?

An individual who has been stalking me for over a year sent me harassing, lovebombing letters claiming that he would move in with me etc., without even knowing me. He wrote that he would focus 100% of his energy on me, as if engaging himself in this kind of magical thinking would somehow affect me and awaken my interest in him.

In the meanwhile, I had already reported him to the police for stalking me and informed him that I have done so.

Now I have blocked him everywhere on social media. If he for some reason would ever manage to come physically close to me, I’d call the emergency number.

Needless to say, people engaging in this kind of behavior express a lot about themselves by doing so.

Listen to The Little Shaman Healing´s podcast about the topic:

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

What is passive-aggressive behavior?

Learn more about this hidden form of aggression and how to deal with it.

Don’t allow any abusive individuals to be a part of your life.

Cut the ties for good if necessary.

Regardless if it is a spouse, family member, frenemy or something alike.

No one who abuses you deserves to be in your life. NO ONE.

Listen to The Little Shaman Healing´s podcast about Narcissism & Hidden Forms of Aggression: The Dangers of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Narcissism & Hidden Forms of Aggression: The Dangers of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Interpersonal Communication

Not a word passes between us, not because we have nothing to say but because we do not have to say anything. ~ Khaled Hosseini

kiterunner

Conflict Resolution

Conflict cannot survive without your participation. ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

conflictpeace

Communication

Communication in relationships is like oxygen to life.

oxygen

What is The Purpose and Meaning of Yin-Yang Leadership?

The dance between darkness and light will always remain – the stars and the moon will always need the darkness to be seen, the darkness will just not be worth having without the moon and the stars (C. JoyBell C.)

Sometimes at night, when the sky is clear and the stars are shining bright, I enjoy watching the huge, free painting that Universe has given us. I wonder how many others do look at the same sky, at the same time, seeing the same patterns, having the same thoughts as I do, and sharing the same vision. Since I do not understand much about astronomy, it is unclear to me why some stars seem larger, and why some stars shine brighter than others do. Are the stars in the sky a reflection of us human beings, or vice versa? What makes the difference between the stars, and the people, that seem to be shining brighter than others?

Language is the source of misunderstandings. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince/Antoine De Saint-Exupéry)

When communicating with each other, individual to individual, regardless of title, number of years in experience, or status, there are a number of aspects worth keeping in mind as to find the yin-yang communication style. This is especially important to leaders, but might as well be equally important to any individual.

People, and the world, cannot be divided into black and white. Yet, yin and yang in communication and leadership create a balance between natural energies and forces, allowing for the combination and motion of yin and yang to generate all things in nature, and for the darkest nights to produce the brightest stars.

To explain it simply, according to the teachings of yin and yang:

  • Without struggle, there would be no progress
  • Without pain, there would be no growth
  • Without negativity, there would be no positivity
  • Without women, there would be no male (and vice versa, of course)
  • Without passiveness, there would be no activity
  • Without the moon, there would be no sun
  • Without the flood, there would be no ebb
  • Without intuition, there would be no logic
  • Without tragic, there could be no magic

How can you, as a leader, create a yin-yang leadership style? To become a yin-yang leader, you will have to develop certain qualities in yourself:

  • Yin-yang leaders care and are compassionate

As a yin-yang leader, you will care for others and for nature as much as you care about yourself. You will also care equally much for yourself as you care for others and nature. Strive for, and live in harmony and at peace with yourself, with others, and with nature. If you are not living in balance, harmony and at peace with yourself, how then can you expect to live in such a way with your environment and with your surroundings?

  • Yin-Yang leaders are excellent communicators

Yin-yang leaders develop and nurture communication skills both in themselves, leading to improved relationships through creating understanding rather than misunderstanding, learning how to truly listen to messages that are being conveyed to them rather than wanting to have the last word and to always have the need to prove themselves to others, appreciating, respecting and valuing others in their communication, and being present during dialogue.

  • Yin-Yang leaders have a high EQ and outstanding social skills

As a yin-yang leader, you have a high EQ and outstanding social skills and value these as least as much, or even more, than merely technical skills. Yin-Yang leaders know that technical skills can be taught, learned, practiced, and eventually mastered, by anyone, but having social skills is even more important.

Yin-yang leadership can be developed and learned by anyone who truly aspires to improve his/her inter-relational, communication, and leadership skills, and who has a passion for self-mastery and balance in life, and in personal/business relations. The meaning and purpose of yin-yang leadership include many aspects that are important, and essential for leaders of the 21st century, such as creating meaning and purpose in life/business (practices), developing self-mastery, creating balance in oneself and therefore also in others, improving overall communication, avoiding conflicts and learning how to handle conflict, and much more.

If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom? (Gibran Khalil Gibran)

  • Yin-Yang leaders work for the long-term benefit of humanity

Let us face the truth: after years, decades, of working in a certain manner, or with specific goals in mind, it is not easy to turn a ship and change direction. It is not easy, but neither is it impossible. We all know that human beings, businesses, and organizations need to keep continuously evolving, developing and learning in order to make progress. Without development, there is no progress, and without progress, there is no development. Why businesses and organizations in the 21st Century increasingly have to invest in developing businesses in a sustainable direction is easy to comprehend, and the future world truly does need, and deserve leaders that do know how to tap into yet unknown lands, discovering new landscapes like Christopher Columbus and his crew did a few centuries ago, and some of our ancestors even earlier than Christopher Columbus. Humanity, and our future generations, does truly deserve and need forward-thinking, humanitarian leaders.

If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer):

Thank you for reading, commenting, liking, and for sharing. Thank you also for developing balance, patience, tolerance, and understanding in yourself, and for creating and nurturing the yin-yang leadership qualities already within you. 

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