How to Handle Contrary Individuals?

I found this podcast channel, The Little Shaman Healing, on YouTube some time ago while searching for ways of coping and dealing with challenging individuals. Let us face the facts and reality: we all meet them during our lives – people who seem to contradict with just about everything we do or say. Without labeling or diagnosing anyone (which is not our task), the smartest thing we can do in situations like these is to not get involved in any arguments with the individual(s) that are contradicting us. Unless it is an official debate, of course, although official debates do have rules and procedures as well. There is no point in getting involved in useless arguments, the purpose of which is only to create chaos and conflict.

While all of us may at times be contradictory to the ideas, opinions and thoughts of other individuals, that does not hinder us from listening to, and taking into consideration thoughts that differ from our own. It is in fact healthy to be able to open up to different, or even opposite ideas and thoughts. It is another thing when someone, on purpose, contradicts to everything we have to say, or everything we do. That is why ignoring this kind of behavior is the smartest thing you can do. Why waste your time on individuals who intend to hinder, or even slow down, your progress by literally sabotaging everything you do or say? Let their opinions be just opinions, and know how to distinguish between facts and opinions.

If and when you have experienced contradictory behavior, especially when this happens continuously from the same individual, you know exactly what it signifies and how you should deal with it: ignore it, and do not engage in any arguments or conversations with the individual in question if possible. It simply does not lead anywhere. Focus on your own career, goals, and life and minimize the energy you invest in individuals whose sole purpose seems to be to contradict everything you do and say. It is a waste of time.

Listen to The Little Shaman Healing´s podcast about the topic:

Narcissists Are Contrary

 

Which is Your Favorite Defense Mechanism and Why?

Which defense mechanisms do you use when communicating with other people?

Learn how to upgrade your communication skills by becoming more assertive and mature.

Start by taking responsibility for your own behavior.

 

Read more about various defense mechanisms at

15 Common Defense Mechanisms

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

What is passive-aggressive behavior?

Learn more about this hidden form of aggression and how to deal with it.

Don’t allow any abusive individuals to be a part of your life.

Cut the ties for good if necessary.

Regardless if it is a spouse, family member, frenemy or something alike.

No one who abuses you deserves to be in your life. NO ONE.

Listen to The Little Shaman Healing´s podcast about Narcissism & Hidden Forms of Aggression: The Dangers of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Narcissism & Hidden Forms of Aggression: The Dangers of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

The Stockholm Syndrome

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In a time of uncertainty, even in previously peacefully related locations such as Stockholm, I am glad to hear that my friends in Stockholm are safe & sound! In these times of rapidly changing markets and an uncertain world, we all have to be increasingly much grounded and peaceful. When we are at peace with ourselves, we will also be at peace with our surroundings, thus creating an increasingly much peaceful world. Please do not let drama enter your mind, or your life. Focus upon creating a peaceful and loving life, and world, to yourself and to those around you. Only through changing ourselves, and through being loving and kind, can we influence those around us as well, to become loving and peaceful.

Aspire to be friends with everyone, starting with yourself. Expand your friendship to whomever you meet upon your journey on Earth, and make everyone into a friend. Kindness is a language of those with inner strength. If you ever are in doubt of your inner strength, please let exemplary leaders like Nelson Mandela be your role models. Truly great leaders know how to forgive their enemies, and use love as a tool to become one with their opponents, in any circumstance. Instead of making a life full of drama, do focus upon love, and upon creating an increasingly much lovable world around you, where people do care about each other.

However, do not let enemies enter your mind in a way of allowing them becoming the cause of the so-called “Stockholm Syndrome”. Stay grounded, be focused, analyze, take the necessary time to evaluate circumstances and things according to your personal perception, and an in-depth analysis about what actually is taking place in your environment, rather than taking action too quickly or reacting to any circumstance or person around you. As unfortunate as it is, not everyone has clarity of mind, or pure intentions. Therefore, always seek to consult with a few (or, even one) trusted people before taking action. Never ever let yourself be seduced into something that conflicts with your authenticity, values, ethics or morals. Even if and when turning an enemy into a friend or a collaborator, do not let anyone seduce you/r business into becoming a tool or a platform for criminal activities or let someone seduce you into becoming a partner in-crime, or, become a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome.

Crisis Management

In crisis management, be quick with the facts and slow with the blame.

~ Leonard Saffir

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Balanced Leadership

Your branches can reach high only if your roots go deep. Stay grounded.

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Conflict Resolution

Conflict cannot survive without your participation. ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

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What Changes Does Peacekeeping Need?

Peace is not absence of conflict, but the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means (Ronald Reagan)

In our world, conflict is present everywhere, be it in conflicting situations with friends, coworkers, neighbors, family members, in competition in general, in international relations, between various groups in a specific area, or between states. Mankind has, according to historical events and teachings, always been involved in a number of conflicts either locally or internationally. Nevertheless, most of humanity lives in peace, and peaceful living has never been as widespread as it is today. Despite of the fact that some conflicts remain anonymous, unresolved, complicated, and out-of-reach for international peacekeeping organizations to resolve.

Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent. (Issac Asimov)

Discussing and negotiating peace is always a better, and an easier choice, than having a fear of new conflicts, or even of having the thought of old conflicts remaining unsolved. All conflict we experience in the world, is a conflict within ourselves. It is also essential to realize that all conflicts emerge from the ego´s willingness to rule, an inability to deal with either personal or external behaviors in a mature way, competition, and lack of willingness to accept, and to understand the point of view of others.

According to Finnish long-term politician Pekka Haavisto, who represents the Green League, and has also represented the UN in a number of roles, the role of women in peacekeeping worldwide is currently underrepresented, suggesting that in fact, women should have increasingly much significance and a larger role to play not only in shaping world economy, but also in shaping current and future societies through a number of, and various, peacekeeping activities. Pekka Haavisto, a progressive, both nationally and internationally recognized politician from one of the least corrupted countries in the world, is not the only remarkable individual from Finland in terms of conflict resolution and peacekeeping, yet, he is the only politician so far in our country who has spoken up about the importance of women in peacekeeping.

Martti Ahtisaari, who served as the 10th President of Finland (1994-2000), is perhaps even better known internationally for his Nobel Peace Prize laureate and for his international peace work together with his work for the United Nations as a diplomat and a mediator. Martti Ahtisaari, after having served for the UN as a Special Envoy for Kosovo during the conflict, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his many efforts on several continents during many decades in international conflict resolution, and established CMI (Crisis Management Initiative), a Peace Broker organization with the purpose of creating peace, negotiating in conflict situations and thus, making the world a better, and a safer place.

Anger is only one letter short of danger (Eleanor Roosevelt)

The purpose of this post is not to resolve every conflict in this world, but rather to tap into a topic that definitely is always actual to every conscious human being. Despite of the fact that 11.11. is a magic day according to some, peace and conflict management are always actual and relevant topics that ought to be discussed more openly and widely by the public, and by people in general. Holding on to negative emotions, including fear, is never the correct choice for anyone, yet, negative emotions should never lead to disruptive or uncontrolled behavior.

What are your thoughts about conflict management, conflict resolution, and peacekeeping activities in general? What kinds of behaviors, and actions, would lead to an even more peaceful environment, and world? What is the role, and importance, of integrating women into peacekeeping activities in the world? What kinds of changes does peacekeeping require to become even more efficient than it today is?

Women & Peacekeeping: A growing force (the UN):

Please share your thoughts and ideas, especially if you agree with the fact that our world needs to become even more peaceful, and free of conflicts, than it is today. Thank you for all your comments, likes, and shares.